Is it Possible to Overcome Perfectionism?

Is It Possible to Overcome Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a complicated trait. On the one hand, you strive for excellence and are driven to succeed. On the other hand, you might be highly critical of yourself, struggle to finish tasks for fear of any result that’s less than perfect, and have anxiety about making mistakes.

Are you struggling with perfectionism?

Ask yourself these questions:

Have people told me that my standards are too high?
Do I often have trouble meeting the goals I set for myself?
Do I often feel stressed, anxious, angry, or irritated when I am working towards a goal?
Do the goals I set for myself stop me from doing other things, like having fun with friends, doing anything spontaneous, or trusting other people?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be a perfectionist. This could be affecting other parts of your life, causing you to be anxious, distressed, or paralyzed by the thought of failure. Here are some steps you can take to overcome your perfectionism.

Recognize it as an issue

The first step to overcoming any psychological or emotional issue is to become aware of and accept it. Once you begin to understand how your perfectionism is affecting your everyday life, you can learn to change your behavior.

Change your self-talk

Perfectionists tend to be highly critical of themselves. They see tiny flaws in their work that others won’t even notice. These little flaws don’t always need criticizing. Make space for self-compassion.

Instead of giving in to your harsher self-criticism, learn to embrace your own forgiveness, kindness, and understanding. This kind of positive self-talk will negate the more destructive effects of perfectionism. Also, try not to compare yourself to others you see on social media or in pop culture. These images and narratives are curated and can create a never-ending sense of comparison nobody can live up to.

Break up your goals

Trying to do too much at once can be overwhelming and create impossible standards. Set more manageable goals and simplify them so that you can focus less on idealized results. Setting smaller milestones for a project will also give you room to enjoy the process.

Stop and consider how you’re feeling as you work to achieve something. Acknowledging your feelings will create space for pausing and taking pleasure along the way.

Allow room for mistakes

For a perfectionist, this is easier said than done. But mistakes are how we learn and grow. Nobody is perfect at everything one hundred percent of the time. Part of maturing and honing a craft or skill is messing up along the way.

Notice when other people make mistakes. Their worlds don’t come crashing down, and they don’t fail at everything with small slip-ups. The same will happen for you. When you start to see mistakes as a natural part of life, your self-talk will change for the more positive as well.

Listen to criticism

While you might be your own worst critic, it’s possible you react negatively to outside criticism. Learn to view constructive criticism as helpful rather than an attack on your character.

When you allow others to see and comment on the mistakes in your work, you can more easily accept that you have room to learn and grow.

If you’re looking for more tools to address your perfectionism and the distress it’s causing in your life, please reach out to us to find a therapist.

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