Children and Divorce: How to Help Kids Cope

Children need stability in order to thrive. Divorce is one of the biggest upheavals a family can go through. If you and your partner are no longer functioning as a couple, you might be asking yourselves whether it’s better to stay together for the kids.

While their parents’ divorce is certainly traumatic for a child, living in a household with a dysfunctional relationship is even worse. In reality, you and your partner can lessen the negative effects the divorce will have on your children by validating their feelings and working to re-establish stability as quickly as possible.

Here are several strategies for helping your children cope with your divorce.

Co-parent with respect and dignity

Even though your divorce likely arose due to unresolvable conflicts, it’s crucial to shield your children from the finer details of your separation. Avoid blaming and talking badly about the other parent. Fighting in front of them or using your children as messengers can damage their emotional well-being.

Encourage a healthy co-parenting relationship that focuses on your children’s best interests. When you model respect for one another, even in the face of the stress of separation, your children will feel less anxious and learn healthy communication methods.

If necessary, consider mediation to resolve your conflicts amicably. Remember, children need the love and support of both parents, regardless of the relationship between both adults.

Communicate openly and honestly

While your children shouldn’t be privy to all the details of your divorce, it’s important to be open with them. You should have age-appropriate discussions with your children about the separation and clearly assure them that it isn’t their fault.

It’s important to listen attentively to their concerns and emotions and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. Let them know that they can come to you when they’re feeling upset and they’ll never receive judgment.

When you’re transparent about the changes that lie ahead, your children will feel more in control because they better understand the situation and can begin to emotionally prepare for it.

Encourage self-expression and healthy coping mechanisms

As you move through your divorce, your children will need to cope with their strong emotions. Encourage them to process these in a healthy way.

Engage with them in activities that promote emotional well-being, such as art, journaling, sports, or spending time with supportive friends and family members. Show your children how important it is to express their emotions rather than bottling them up.

As the parent, lead by example and demonstrate effective coping strategies by managing your own stress and seeking healthy outlets for your emotions.

Keep a stable environment (as best you can)

Parental separation causes children to feel destabilized, confused, and uncertain. Even as you’re adjusting to a co-parenting relationship, you and your ex need to create stability across two households.

Work to keep daily routines as consistent as possible, including mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and extracurricular activities. Consistency provides a sense of normalcy and security, reassuring your children that their lives will remain structured even amidst the changes happening around them.

Let them talk to a professional

Children sometimes struggle with big feelings. Encourage them to see a child therapist who specializes in coping with divorce. You might even find it beneficial to seek family therapy as a whole unit.

Together in therapy sessions, you’ll better understand your family dynamics. Your children will also learn how to better communicate their feelings and handle distressing moments. Therapy is one of the biggest tools that ensures your children emerge from your divorce stable and thriving.

To find out more about how therapy can help your child cope with divorce, please contact us at Mindworthy Therapy

Contact