Consider the following ideas:

Plan Ahead

It’s best not to wait until the flood of emotion is upon you to try to take care of yourself. You may feel too upset on Sunday to come up with a helpful plan. As Mother’s Day approaches, be as proactive as possible.

Be honest about your feelings and give yourself permission to acknowledge them. Then, plan in advance for time spent in ways that bring you the most comfort.

Celebrate Your Mom or Special Mother Figure Your Way

Your hurt is real, yet you may want to honor your mother without exacerbating it. Thus you may find some pleasure in making the day special for them without a painful family gathering if it hurts too much. Consider a one-on-one meet up, Zoom call, or home visit before or after Sunday. Or send a thoughtful gift in the mail.

Consider and Prepare for Painful Questions, Situations, & Assumptions

If you are out and about on Sunday, be aware of the potential for unintended discomfort. Prepare your mind and heart as loved ones, clergy, restaurant workers, and more may be unintentionally insensitive. Consider how you will contend with complimentary gifts or flowers, inquiries about when you will become a mom, or assumptions that you are already a mother.

Plan a Satisfying Day with Your Partner

If you have a partner, you aren’t enduring infertility alone. Thus, it is important to share such difficult holidays. You can choose together to plan a weekend of your favorite activities to comfort you both. Eat well and sleep well. Communicate openly and treat Sunday as an opportunity to cement your bond.

Seek Out Solid, Non-Judgmental Support

Your desire to be a mom can be overwhelming and isolating on a day for women who enjoy that gift already. Still, you can feel heard, strengthened and empowered when you seek support. Build yourself up in the days and weeks surrounding Mother’s Day. There is no shame in acknowledging your experience, and you take nothing away from the mothers in your life by doing so.

Validate your own emotional responses, the realities of infertility, and your hopes for the future in ways that are comfortable and cathartic. Plan visits with a compassionate clergy member or supportive friend. Consider an online or in-person support group.

Most of all, consider reaching out to an experienced and qualified therapist. Exploration of your emotions is beneficial for navigating the pain of infertility-related experiences. If you need help and support through this Mother’s Day and beyond, please read more about therapy and reach out for a consultation soon.