Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, is an individual who truly believes themselves to be superior to others and expects to be treated as such. Narcissists have specific traits that may include:
- Grandiose sense of self-importance
- Fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or love
- The belief that they are special and unique and can only be understood by other special or high-status people
- Needs excessive admiration
- Sense of entitlement
- Lack of empathy
- The belief that others are envious of them
- Arrogant and conceited behaviors
At first glance, it can be challenging to identify these individuals. Like with other mental and personality disorders, the severity of symptoms differs per person.
People with NPD present as charming and likable, potentially tricking others about who they really are. This also makes them attractive as romantic partners. So how will you know if you are getting into a relationship with one? Here are 4 signs to watch out for when entering a new relationship.
1. They Constantly Talk About Themselves
Narcissists want the attention to be on them and may even exaggerate or lie about details of their lives to seem more impressive. They talk about themselves so much that they do not have time to listen to others. In some way, they will always bring the conversation back to be about themselves. In a relationship, these individuals will not be very supportive of you or your problems and may not engage in these conversations at all.
Individuals with NPD may seem super confident, but in reality they actually feed off of compliments from others. If you are not giving them the praise they think they deserve, they will start to fish for it. They use other people to increase their self-worth and power.
2. They Lack Empathy
One of the most common symptoms of narcissists is their lack of empathy, meaning they are unable to feel how another person is feeling. They cannot put themselves in the perspective of others, and this causes them to not understand the implications of their actions. Due to not being able to understand others’ feelings, they will most likely not apologize during disagreements even if they are wrong. This factor is one of the main reasons why romantic relationships tend to end with these individuals.
3. They Constantly Pick on You
While it may come across as playful teasing, eventually these taunts become mean. Whether it’s how you dress, what you eat, where you go, and who you talk to, suddenly everything seems to be a problem. Their hostility stems from a desire to lower other’s self-esteem to make themselves feel powerful and superior. They want you to know that you are not better than them.
4. They Lash Out
Another trait narcissists have in common is their vulnerability to feelings of humiliation and shame. When these emotions come to light and they feel a hit to their ego, they will lash out at others in an attempt to bring them to their level. This is why it can be so difficult to leave a relationship with a narcissist; they will say and do anything to make you feel bad for wanting to leave them. Gaslighting is one of these strategies. It’s a form of emotional abuse that adds to their control over you. You may start to notice your confidence and self-worth decreasing, you may apologize profusely, and may feel you can do nothing right.
If you feel you are in or entering a relationship with a narcissistic, it’s important to seek help and support. A great way to do this would be to talk to a mental health professional. Counselors may help you identify the signs of a narcissist, and guide you into either navigating or leaving this relationship.
To find out more about how therapy can help with a narcissistic relationship, please reach out to us.
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