4 Signs a Child Is Internalizing Trauma

What is internalizing?

Children typically have two responses when they’re emotionally overwhelmed by a traumatic experience. Some kids externalize their feelings. This looks like acting out with bursts of anger, misbehaving in class, disobeying adult figures, and having temper tantrums. With these types of children, their pain is front and center. They’re more likely to get help from parents, teachers, medical professionals, and therapists.

A child who internalizes hides their pain. They withdraw into themselves and shut down to the outside world. They become quiet and have a hard time vocalizing what’s wrong. They’re much more easily overlooked because their emotional turmoil is less obvious. Even parents can overlook this behavior. Here are a few warning signs that your child might be internalizing their trauma.

1. They withdraw from socializing

Pay attention to how your child is behaving differently. Were they once gregarious, playing with lots of friends? Did they socialize with your family? Did they often enjoy going on outings and meeting new people? If that has changed, and they have begun to isolate themselves from others, it could mean they’re internalizing some pain.

2. They develop a low self-esteem

Children who internalize begin to display behaviors of low self-esteem. They might start talking negatively about themselves. They might feel like they can’t do anything right or will never be good enough. A child may talk about how they’re unlovable and unwanted by others. In drawings or art projects, they may represent themselves negatively on the page.

3. They have persistent aches and pains

Trauma often affects the body just as much as the mind. Children are often less able to articulate their feelings than adults are. You might notice your child suddenly complaining about frequent headaches or stomach aches.

Usually, these will be unrelated to any diagnosable illness. They may often feel sore. Sometimes, the stress of trauma will lower a person’s immune system. Your kid could be catching colds more frequently. They may also have sleep disturbances—insomnia, frequent nightmares, and restlessness.

4. They start struggling in the classroom

For a child who’s gone through something traumatic, paying attention in class can be difficult. They might be less willing to participate in discussions and struggle with staying on task. Their grades may slip as a result. This poor performance at school can also feed into their feelings of self-worth, creating a vicious cycle of damaging internalizing behavior.

Sometimes, teachers might categorize these behaviors as a learning disability rather than trauma. Again, pay attention to whether this withdrawing in the classroom is new for your child.